Noodle-brain !!!

A mid-week crisis

2006-06-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

Sleping has become a weird co-incidence these days. At times it feels like living in some doper's dream where days,events,people,nights,pizzas,emails all merge into one helluva collage.I havent really been working for a long long time.i.e.doing some work which is productive and remotely relevant.And though somewhere it does bother me, I am surprisingly pretty happy about the twisted shape of things in life (freaks!! I vowed I wont use the word 'life').
But this is not how things were supposed to be !! When I got thru NID eons back, people looked at me with a mix of awe and confusion like I had got the joining letter to Hogwarts. But the wise told me, 'beta, life ban gayi teri !' (they said 'life'..not me)
I convinced myself I am gonna do stellar things in this amazing campus.
5 years and a really painful exit from that place later, I am still trying to make sense of 'what just happened ?!?!'
I am supposed to go weak kneed when I see swanky automobiles, I am supposed to sketch with alcohol markers day in and out, I am supposed to be in a design firm with 'cool' people who tie bandanas round their heads , I am supposed to have a snazzy folio on coroflot and aspire to be in GE or Whirlpool !!
frankly, none of it is happening. I am not even to sad about it.
So then what IS happening would be a good Q. to ask.
Well, I am simply and desparately trying to think of WHAT SHUD I BE DOING while on the side, I find ways to exist, to survive on my own, to find 'tareekas' to make people pay me till I can make up my mind.

Well I guess this makes for a rather sad blog. But then , its my blog and the other way round :-) So the blog will have to adjust.

Current book : Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage
Current Film : Hitch (for the 3rd time)
Current music : Indian Ocean
Current state: Comfortably Numb

for those wise lil people that inhabit our earth !!

2006-06-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

I honestly feel kids are the only real people in this world , and smart enough to understand that nothing really is permanent , that people CAN turn from friends to foes
In a day and then back to friends again and its OKAY, that you still have to go on trusting
The next fella u meet and share toys with him…….
Why do we get so skeptical and worrisome growing up ? they say the doctors are paranoid creatures cos they know how REEALLY bad things can go and they keep living
in constant fear of germs, microbes, mites in the paani puri, in the ganne ka juice, in the air inaside a lift….everywhere !!!

the biggest bore and bane of product design is the user testing part. Its so damn irksome.
But the only time one can really expect total co-operation is when kids are the target group. They’ll readily potter around with anything you give them, if a nice chocky is assured at the end and they wont give up !!!! Where as if you give it to a 35 year old lady,
She’ll first scrutinize you till you feel holes bored into your being, then after the lengthy smiley-faced introductions and assurances that nothing will really go wrong ( what can go wrong with a potato peeler or a damn dust bin or remote control for Christ sakes !!)
She will touch it like its radio-active . Most of the adults give up in one try, at max two if they really are in a mood to humour you. But immediately comes the response,
‘yeh kaise karte hai ??’ . ‘yeh toh bekaar cheese hai ji ‘ , ‘iska manual kaha hai (even for a peeler) ‘..etc
Its enervating! But then, patience, thy name is designer (in this case i.e) !!
Hmmm…….but I was talking bout kids !!
I’ve always wanted to work for and with them but still haven’t really come across a way to do that AND also earn a lot of money to buy all those shampoos and foot scrubs !!

JK Rowling might beg to differ i’m sure but then she isn’t exactly working WITH kids is she ? Still, story writing seems like a good beginning !! But sadly too less kids these days actually take a story book in their hands and read it. So , other than making an over-anxious, career- driven and thus guilt- ridden parent shell out money in the heaps and filling the pockets of some printers and publishers and graphic designers , I don’t see what purpose all these lil books for kids really serve ?!?!?

But a child should have stories to read, to dream about , to make up that imaginary world !! I for one, still prefer stories aka fiction tales to non-fiction ones. The later, they don’t let you imagine , to picturise the villages and the characters and the rainbows !
Reading something like ‘an octopus has three hearts’ does have its own value but who can capture that flight of fantasy better than the Faraway tree and its story ??

Some of my all time favourite stories as a kid,….actually even now –
1.Gilbert (it was a picture book and I was 3)
2.Tales from Russia (folk lore. I sadly forget the name)
3.Akbar and Birbal
4.Faraway tree and the wishing chair
5.The wind in the willows – Kennethe Graham
……..and many more !!

Wind in the Willows is the one quintessential classic, which true to its nature, hasn’t yet finished what it has to say !! Highly recommended ,people !!

And now for a break. Reading is much more fun than writing actually heheh.

its wenz'day alreadyyyy ???

2006-06-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

4:35 am
middle of the week and I am so clueless.
This time in the lab at IDC gives me the numbness that I seek so much
This same place, it looks and feels different….like a warm inviting kitchen early in the morning with the sun’s rays thru the windows and no one around
And then 930 -10 when people start arriving. Cheerful and bright , the babble starts. From there till 6 in the eve its like a ‘constant’ .
Attu sir darting in and out , the slow shuffling of Sadhu as he trudges back n forth , the opening of the wide yellow door constantly ,everytime making us curious who is coming…as if we expect to see Julius Ceasar sticking his neck out and saying ‘wazzup fellas ??’ !!!

Saw ‘Phir Hera Pheri’ today after a decent dinner at Sheesha. Good food’s so yumm and so expensive …phew !! The movie was actually good and I laughed till my cheeks ached!! Akshay Kumar rocks !!! There needs to be one hypothetical crush , I believe, which is cliché and unreasonable and stupid ….. for me its Akshay Kumar !! The style, the attitude………very wannabe…..very hot !!!! hehehe methinks I am sane.

And then the phase zero…..my nocturnal stunt at IDC.
I’m re-addicted to scrubs !!!! Why O why do I get this itchy feel inside me that I shud’ve gone into medical studies ??? But then there is a difference between finding something interesting and being good in it……. And I still feel pukish at the sight of blood…hmm so that kinda does away with the itch !!

Well I gotto do this stupid POP Retail stand for a TV and a cable box and s’how I’m just not getting down to it……damn !!! think think think……

Ok …toodles……me into work mode !!! (or so I wish)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S the DAMN lot !!!!!

2006-05-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

From being totally unaware of the phenomenon called friends to being crazy bout them to being bored but addicted to them .....and finally accepting those 6 as that part of life which recurrs time and again when u just Cant stop yourself watching crap........ its been a longish cycle !!

But only when you have got saturated with something and then moved away and THEN looked back, can you really look at things objectively I guess.
Like , s'times they are just sooooooooo flaky !!! those 'awwwws n ohhhhhhhs' n all tht coo-ing !!!
s'times they are such jerks !!! Chandler still has my respects ....... Monica , I cant help liking and relating to, Joey is cute dumb n...one dimensional , Rachel is the cute dumb thing u always hate in schools and Ross is just uhhhhhggghh !!!
That leaves Phoebe !!! Ok she is weird....whacko....insane n funny (by default at times) but.....
I mean.....HOW can s'one like her ??? I just cant stand her !!!!
She comes across as a person so detatched from feelings of any kinds !! I cant see one ounce of real emotion in her ever !!! She's so quirky and jerky and so-un-romantic and Non-sexy !!
she looks like barbie gone bad !!! since when did talking out exactly how u feel like about others, become such a good thing ??? she's rude , neurotic ,uncouth , repelling and i just hate her smile !!!

anyways I think the only episodes i've liked are the chick and the duck ones !!
i have no clue why at 1.30 am in the middle of a week i'm ranting about a non-issue !!!
But then....... laziness to move from an AC room to a humid world ,is a very strong element !!

One of those happening mondays !!

2006-05-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

A lot can happen in a day !!!
Today , atlast I hv a scheduled test+interview that might just finally get me the job I really need in life..... not (just) 'cos of the good pay packet , but it will bring in the stability that I've been searching for ....... since the last many many months !!and after all the wait and preps....guess what happens? Classic Murphy strikes !!
Just on THIS morning,..my alarm fails to ring !!! I need to report at 10 am and I get up electroculated , staring at my roomie's bedside clock showing 10.10 am !!!!
Anywhoooo .... turns out it wasnt such a disaster after all. test goes OK. interview goes OK-er !!My hopes are rising slowly but surely........ things look good....but...there's always the but...butting in !!the HR lady said 'we'll contact you in a couple of days !!!' now am left nibbling my nibbled nailstill the next meeting !!! Gawddd !! all common sense take s a back seat and I cant help fretting away !!!!!

phase two....... late evening spent with glugs !!! A bit of normalcy reigns there (thankfully)

and then phase three..... my late night IDC-lab sojourn !!!I decide to watch some romantic films ....since I dont exactly have enthusiastic company for it Ever .... I resign to do the due all by myself !!!Serendipity it is ........and ....what a movie !!! Its Crap !!! Its senseless !!! its .....its..too movie-ish!!Its romantic !!!sometimes u just need that lil bit of madness in your life.....the madness that keeps you stable......tht keeps u going cos atleast there's that ONE thing that u cant figure out...................when u do things ... just...like that !! surprises that bowl u over....those are the ones that u remember long after that person is not even a shadow in your life .........
I'm searching for it helplesly these days !!

zzzzzzzz

2006-05-03T04:43:00.000-07:00

I have been sleepy perpetually the last few days.....weeks actually !!
the MA exam passed off okay-ish . Actually the books on the syllabus were pretty neat !!
real rich reading which I admit I wouldnt have touched otherwise !!
there's this whole irrational craving for junk I cant get rid off...... inspite of having 'God's Debris' around, I will habitually reach out to a Harry Potter I've read 3 times already .... Instead of some good music on VH1 which I know I like, I tune in to some mind-numbingly senseless movie
on Star Gold and i simply cant convince myself that Veggie Delight sub is better than Chicken Ham or Teriyaki !!! Whats With me ??

The work front needs a lot of push . I think I'm stuck in a nice cosy nest of mediocrity which I really have to shrug off soon......before I'm addicted to it !
To think of, soooo many people are in jobs they can do half asleep and care least about. So many do care , but anyways dont exactly shine in it !! So whats wrong with doing a routine bore mundane job if it pays u ?? after all a job is a job is a job !!!
Even if I end up in a place that pays me to make paper pop-art cards (oh wow !!), at some time even THAT is going to seem boring !!
umm hmmm I guess i cud still look at the perks on this place (watcing scrubs in working hrs)
but also look out for that stud job thats waiting for me s'where !!

amen !

the weather's uncharacteristically lovely !! Am off to the lake side

I'm no Super (wo)Man !!!!

2006-04-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

Another 4-some of Scrubs and i feel at-home in this stupid room which happnens
to be my workplace for a few months now !!
Scrubs works for me not just cos its one of the 'witty-as-hell' american serials which
everyone loves to love.....but b'cos its bout a profession which I would've loved to be in
but am clearly NOT in ( cos i kind of thot that my love for good things in life was a clear indication of me being an in-born designer !! we'll come back to this part later !)
....also b'cos these people are protrayed as real as they can be...atleast most of the times ....
.....b'cos whtever they say or do...they are 100% perfect at their job !!!

very cheesy na ? well its surprising how at times u really do feel and believe in cliche things !!

back to me :
I have to re-organise my life once more !! (not again !!) its exactly like my room back home !!
I just have to turn my back once and it messes up all by itself quicker than you can say 'bazooka' !! Same goes here......hunt for a job which doesnt bore me AND pays me, hunt for a gym thts easy on the pocket.....hunt for some work to finance a trip to Goa.....hunt for a PG to do in des. in the U ass A ...hunt hunt hunt !!!
and then to complement all the search engines is the pricking conscience of learning those god-awful softwares and the ultimate roadblock of my life.....a portfolio !!!!
I wanna go n sketch on a lazy windy afternoon by the lake !!
I wanna dabble in clay someewhere and make pudgy useless pots for plants i dont have !!
I wanna run on a treadmill till i evaporate
I wanna grow perfect nails
I wanna eat at Churchill
I wanna unburden myself to my twin self
I wanna hear someone say ' your life will be fine' and you'll not end up as a day-dreaming wreck

burp !!!!

umm that feels better !!! adios

After an Aeon

2006-03-14T01:29:00.000-08:00

yepp..as always I've managed not to blog regularly. Infact am getting pretty consistent at being inconsistent at nearly everything.
I dunno how but lately whenever i plan and decide to do something (and I'm a gr8 planner)
its for sure that I end up doing a whole lot of things except that something !!!
call tht a compulsive rebellious subconscious or....plain Murphy's Law at its best !!

Gave GRE the last friday...and..the score was 1250 !!!
umm welll...nothing great really (very mediocre in fact) but I was ecstatic that day.
I had been driven paranoid by people around who go for extensive coachings and esp. those who cram the wordlist. One look at that and I'd given up.
So, a night before the test I saw some inspirational stuff ( an activist kinda movie) and decided tht I'll test my own real capacity of math and language . whatever that is....
" halla bol !!!! "
and tho i fouled up in the verbal section big time....... I had a ball of a time writing the analytical one (even wrote the optional essay for their research stuff) and came out with a smile !!!

Other than that its been hectic at the work front. The exact 4 days before the test I had to have the busiest work schedule till date and also the exact 4 days I had the worst bout of Sinusitis !!

I am actually so GLAD I didnot opt for an M.Des !!! inspite of being on the other side of the table ( assistant faculty), I still cant keep my eyes open in the lectures and thank all the lords that its not ME who's gonna do all tht assignment work !!! whooppeeee :-D

well thts it for the timebeing... holi tomorrow !!! and a booze party tonight !! :-)
life looks good !!

today's dope !!

2006-03-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

this bunch of buddies have helped me thru more glithces and bloops and blues than
i'd care to admit !!
Thanks Mr. Pastis and I dont lovvvvvve u or s'th but u hv my utmost respect !!!

last 24 hrs of bliss

2006-01-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

since the final jury mayhem died down, I've been having quite a peaceful existence
so to say, if u ignore the mom-based-naggings !!
Though even then there was work to be done , it was sporadic and most importantly, on my terms. Staying up late till wee hours and then snoozing till late aftee was a daily thing.....
and now I am at the end of it.
Finally, after many days of turmoil , I join IDC on the 1st feb.
A Relief to officially being employed at last. Privately, a little irritating cos I will miss my mid-of-the-week-af'noon snoozes . But a new excitement in life , nevertheless !!

Hopefully getting busy would mean more things getting accomplished !!! Some how things get done on a busy day !!
joining IDC has been a tad uncomfortable decision , atleast initially ! With all my illustrious classmates getting placed with cosily-salaried jobs, I would be slogging for less than half of the average !! But then I guess its a planned move and hope the planning pays off someday !!
and somewhere deep down, I am truly oblivious of the monetary statii of my peers.
I could actually do a job without getting any real money as far as , somehow, I have enough
money to buy the mundane things I live on !!!

Glugs was around and we had a good comfy time together, s'thing which might not happen for a longish time to come !!
Saw a couple of good movies. Sau Jooth Ek Sach by Bappaditya Roy and Hazaaron Khwahishe Aisi by Sudhir Sharma !!! Both having powerful performances but sadly, weak story lines !!

More or less, that was today !!

Masti ki pathshala

2006-01-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

yes, a total filmy name ( of the blog)
cos that was the startling reason for me to get up before i woke up today morning !!
hopes soared as the ticksts of the latest rage RDB (Rang De Basanti) were suspected close at hand.....and before me and my friend could say 'howwherewhatwhen' ............pooof ..goes the weasel !!! :-p they were as usual in short supply.

anyways.was quite a kickstart to the day.
after paving the way out of parental descripancies and securing temperory good will by preparing a wholesome 5 course lunch for the family, me and my friend ( hereby refered as moon) sneaked out . dreamy eyed we travelled in the 'bhar dupar' or the blazing afnoon sun (hullo!! its mumbai) to VT (CST Fiesty whtever).
A brief detour to lower parel in the hope of getting some good sasta sundar tikau stuff at W outlet .......was what it alwyas is...a MISTAKE !!!
it was sundar alright. Tikau ...welll....but sasta it wasnt !!

Cut to VT
the lazy sunday stretched ahead of moon and me. we scrounged the gullies and (window) shopped till we dropped.....got some cool bargains and overall had a whale of a time !!! looking back, i give this day an 8/10.

while coming back in the virar fast, after a good greasy meal, as the train whizzed in the darkness at a crazy speed , i was wondering wht is it tht about the whole street shopping thing that ticks me and moon but not most of the guys that i know....
( or do i keep the sexist issue out here?)

those lanes sell the most exuberant collection of trinklets, trivia that you can find in one place !! (I dont want to over-glamourize the place , the description of it is irrelevant. )
how can one NOT want to browse endlessly through them ?? ofcourse, just as one might ask how can one NOT want to watch every detail of a Test match of cricket ?
( I dont,cant ,wont do THAT ever to save my life !!! )

Why does a certain interest harbour in one person and not in the next ? I'm sure not all women love shopping and not all men abhor preening.
Guess it has to do with the spectrum of interests one choses to have......... an ability of lateral thinking which makes you ponder, dream about things which dont really earn you bread and butter.
Speculations at the best, ofcourse.
Yet to find a satisfactory answer for that.

but moon...you made my day !
Just by being by my side. By being so genuinely and similarly interested in stall after stall after stall of beads and more beads....and yet after 4 hours, still kicked about going through a heap of brocade-work-shoes.
Its so relaxing Not to keep thinking bout whether the person around is getting bored , Not to feel judged by that person even if u stop at a stupid stall to look at yellow plastic crocodiles which go SQUACK when you press their tummies, Not having to come up with the extra enthu to get the other person along with you to just one more shop....

Moral of the story :
keep more enthu cutlets around you in life and steer clear of the Ho-Hum variety

adios

Todays's Pearls Before Swine Strip. http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/index.html